The festive season of Christmas and New Year’s is one of the most notable periods in the Western world. These holidays also carry broader symbolic and social meaning.
How often do we hear the phrase "the spirit of Christmas" or see this special time as an opportunity to get together with loved ones, rest, and relax?
In fact, the whole atmosphere of this period predisposes us to experience it in a certain way: every local community is decorated, there is music and advertising made for the holidays, people are encouraged to break out of their usual routine, take time off work, exchange gifts, schools close, etc. There is therefore a tendency towards greater socialization and a prevailing spirit of solidarity and kindness.
However, is this true for everyone?
It has been proven that many people are unable to experience the holidays in accordance with the social imperative of joy and anticipation that is supposed to accompany Christmas and the arrival of the new year. In fact, this is something that commonly happens to many of our fellow human beings. This phenomenon is described as "holiday syndrome," "holiday melancholy," or, in international literature, as "holiday blues."
If you’re feeling sadness or loneliness, it’s best to talk about what’s on your mind. Reach out today to one of our licensed therapists.
What exactly holiday melancholy is?
For many people, the holidays can be a stressful and emotionally demanding period. More specifically, the holidays are often accompanied by feelings of irritability, depression, nostalgia, emotional pain, and memories of beautiful past experiences, along with wishes for a magical resolution to the difficulties and problems of the present. Such feelings can create sadness and melancholy, emotional states that we will all face during the holidays.
What triggers these feelings?
- Social pressure and expectations: The holidays are ostensibly accompanied by a requirement for joy and general good cheer. After all, it is socially desirable to behave with particular joy during this time of year. Many people, especially those facing difficult psychological or other situations, cannot "comply" with this festive spirit. Therefore, this period is experienced as social pressure rather than an opportunity to relax.
- Financial difficulties: The exchange of gifts, as a rule and throughout the history of our civilization, has a strong symbolic background. A gift is, in fact, a donation, an act of giving. However, in modern society, gifts seem to have to meet certain specifications, be purchased to order, and usually cost more than a certain amount of money. The same applies to the festive table and its organization. Unfortunately, nowadays, spending money on the holidays can be difficult for our fellow human beings who are facing financial problems, with the result that the holidays bring an additional burden.
- Loneliness: Many people spend the holidays alone, either due to circumstances or by choice. The whole atmosphere of the holidays, which revolves around gatherings and socializing, tends to exacerbate and intensify this loneliness.
- Forced socialisation: Forced socialization could be the other side of loneliness, as many people are forced to attend gatherings and parties with family members or others with whom they have nothing in common, find it difficult to communicate with them, or feel uncomfortable in their presence. These are forced encounters, mainly because "that's the way it is," with the result that celebrations turn into forced coexistence rather than cheerful and relaxed socializing.
- Change of routine and deadlines: There are certain moments in the year that mark important events, such as the new year, the new academic semester, etc. The end of Christmas and New Year's can be accompanied by deadlines, changes at work, and preparations for new things. In fact, all this workload comes at a time when one seemingly needs to "relax" because of the holidays, that is, to get out of one's routine, one's daily life.
- Fatigue and preparation stress: Stress comes as an extension of the pressure of the holidays and the need for everything to be just right and well prepared. The house decorated, the Christmas table set, everyone happy and having a good time. In addition, many of our fellow human beings work overtime during the festive season, which means they don't have time to rest and organize their festive plans.
- Diet: As a rule, festive periods are accompanied by an abundance of food, sweets, and alcohol. Many people may end up overeating or drinking much more than usual, which causes discomfort. In fact, others may need to follow a specific diet and therefore find it difficult to keep up with the atmosphere of these dinners.
How can we manage holiday melancholy and stress?
- Set realistic expectations: Christmas is not a ready-made celebration as we see in advertisements and movies. Christmas is unique to each person, and everyone experiences it in their own way. There is no need to feel pressured to make everything perfect, to have the best dinner or the best vacation of our lives. Life is bigger than this one day. After all, beautiful moments are experienced, they are not scheduled. Let's enjoy every day of the holidays with realistic expectations and a relaxed mood.
- Set boundaries: Pointless or uncomfortable social gatherings do not always have to include you. Saying “no” at the right time can protect you from extra stress. The moments that matter are worth sharing with people you can genuinely communicate with and feel comfortable around. Boundaries also matter in spending, so that you do not feel financially overwhelmed once the holidays end.
- Practice self-care: In the effort to take care of everyone else and make sure they have a good time, we sometimes forget ourselves. Realistically, we cannot meet everyone’s expectations. Taking care of your own needs helps you be more present and enjoy time with others more meaningfully. The holidays can also be an opportunity for reflection, for renegotiating situations that dissatisfy us, and for planning new things and new goals.
- Follow your schedule: For many people, changing their entire schedule for one or two days is harder than it seems. The holiday season often involves tiring travel and not much real rest. Sometimes it is better to listen to your needs than to follow a plan that leaves you exhausted.
- Diet: The holiday table may be rich in food, alcohol, and sweets, but we don't have to overindulge if we don't want to. We can regulate our food and alcohol consumption in a way that does not cause us discomfort, so that we feel good in the days that follow.
- Plan something to look forward to: Sadness is also common after the holidays. Of course, we don't have to wait for the holidays to do the things that make us happy. In any case, we can plan something we want to do, such as a trip, a concert, etc., after the holidays, so that we have something nice to look forward to.
For some people, loneliness and sadness can feel like a heavy, day to day burden. If you need support, reach out today and speak with one of our licensed therapists.
Christmas and the arrival of the new year are unique moments for each of us. Let’s experience them in the way that feels right for us.
Bibliography
- Baier M. (1987). the “holiday blues” as a stress reaction. perspectives in psychiatric care, 24(2), 64-68.
- https://healthcare.utah.edu/healthfeed/2022/12/holiday-blues-put-your-mental-health-first-holiday-season
- https://www.webmd.com/depression/holiday-depression-stress
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