Adolescence is a unique developmental stage in a person’s life, as it marks the transition from childhood to adulthood and is accompanied by constant changes. At this stage, a young person sees that everything around them - and within themselves - changes: their body, emotional bonds, interests, relationships with the opposite sex, and their intimate relationships. Those changes can suddenly happen so, adolescents may feel uncertain or confused as they try to understand what is happening and how to cope with it.
At the same time, during this period of emotional upheaval, they try to shape their personal identity. This is usually expressed through intense inner contradictions and tension. On the one hand, they try- and want - to break free from the limitations of childhood and become independent; on the other hand, they still need safety and support, and may feel afraid of the increasing responsibilities and demands they are faced with. In adolescents’ eyes, everything feels intensified. And as they try to cope with this transition, they may experience emotional ups and downs - very often transient - feeling anxiety, fear, worry, shame, embarrassment, and insecurity. As a reaction, they often resort to unusual behaviors in an attempt to release tension, while withdrawal, isolation, and sadness are not uncommon.
Ιn this sensitive state, adolescents face yet another challenge: they are expected to think beyond the “here and now” and make decisions about their future, which creates additional pressure. In the Greek context, this often involves a strong focus on future career paths and, consequently, engagement in a highly grade-oriented educational system, where exams and studying become central to daily life - particularly after entering upper secondary school (lyceum). At this age, exams may come to be seen as the primary opportunity for young people to prove their abilities and worth to others, or even to themselves. Success is often perceived as the main way to gain parental approval, especially when expectations are high or excessive.
Under these conditions, anxiety emerges. Anxiety is a natural response of the body when it needs to deal with demanding or threatening situations. In such cases, it can have a positive function, motivating the person and boosting productivity. However, many times the limits are exceeded, and anxiety becomes dysfunctional and unmanageable. The adolescent becomes overwhelmed by negative, unhelpful thoughts, feeling buried under a heavy load - facing a challenge they are often not psychologically prepared for - and they can become “stuck,” giving up on any effort to cope with the exam process and not knowing what to do. The fear is especially intense that they might disappoint significant others and fall short of their expectations, as well as the expectations they hold for themselves.
Anxiety is expressed through physical symptoms (e.g., rapid heartbeat, shortness of breath, headaches, dizziness, poor sleep), emotional symptoms (e.g., irritability, sadness, hyperarousal, low mood, tearfulness), cognitive symptoms (e.g., learning and concentration difficulties, memory blocks, negative thoughts), and behavioral symptoms (e.g., aggression, giving up on studying, school absences, social withdrawal, overeating or the opposite, etc.). Psychosomatic symptoms are also common, such as skin issues or increased hair loss. All of this - combined with a demanding schedule, lack of free time, and limited outlets for stress relief - intensifies the adolescent’s already high inner tension. In addition, because adolescents often find it difficult to talk about what concerns them within their family, their inability to manage and overcome these difficulties on their own can become even greater.
How can parents help?
Parents play a very important role during this difficult period, supporting adolescents psychologically, emotionally, and physically. Beyond providing basic parental care (good nutrition, etc.), it is important to maintain a pleasant and calm home environment that offers adolescents a sense of safety and helps them focus. Avoiding tension and extremes (such as overprotection) within the family can prevent additional strain on the child’s emotional and mental state, as they need stability and support. If parents themselves feel overwhelmed by anxiety, it is important for them to decompress by doing something for themselves - such as going for a walk or exercising - so that this stress is not passed on to the adolescent.
It is extremely important for parents to approach the adolescent with understanding and calmness. They need to show them that they are accepted for who they are - and that this is not determined by success or failure in exams. The adolescent may not trust their abilities and may feel weighed down by low self-esteem. Parents can help by replacing uncertainty, worry, and the constant anticipation of success with positive feedback and optimism. At the same time, it is important to remain realistic and avoid exaggerated statements that may imply overly high expectations. In any case, constructive dialogue based on mutual respect - or an open conversation beyond school and exams - can be especially helpful and bring a sense of calm.
In moments when they see their child feeling overwhelmed and giving up, parents can encourage them to take a break and engage in other activities that will help them relax and recharge. Rest, good sleep, and physical wellbeing can all help reduce anxiety. It is also important not to overlook the adolescent’s need to interact with peers. Parents should encourage outings with friends, which can give the teenager the opportunity to share their worries and step away from the source of stress - even if only for a little while.
What can the adolescent do themselves?
It is important for adolescents to give themselves space and time so they can recognize their own pace, respect it, and discover strategies that will help them cope as effectively as possible. Setting small, realistic goals is a good starting point, helping to avoid anxiety and unproductive overexertion. Organizing study time can be especially effective, ensuring there is room for breaks and rest, which can have a positive impact on mood and concentration. Lack of sleep and downtime reduces performance and attention and places strain on the body. It is equally important for the adolescent to find a calm study environment. In addition, enjoyable activities, exercise, or meeting up with friends can add a positive note to everyday life and help relieve stress. Finally, when they feel anxiety taking over and becoming unmanageable, it helps to identify negative thoughts and stop them, not allowing them to continue. Any mistakes should be accepted and approached calmly - as opportunities for improvement rather than for self-punishment. Rewarding oneself is an important source of motivation!
Exam stress - How can a professional help?
Psychological support from a professional can be particularly helpful for adolescents - both in working through the challenges of adolescence and in managing exam stress. Within a therapeutic setting, the adolescent will find someone who understands the difficulties they are experiencing and who can offer the support and unconditional acceptance they need. In an open and positive environment - where confidentiality is ensured - a relationship of trust is formed. This allows the adolescent to share deeper feelings and thoughts, and to give themselves space and time, developing different aspects of their personality. In addition, they can step away from constant guilt and blame - coming from others (teachers, parents, classmates) as well as from themselves and begin to build self-esteem and self-respect, forming a stronger identity that is not defined by performance. They will also build a solid foundation for dealing with high demands and potential obstacles, finding more effective coping strategies and healthy, meaningful outlets, while learning to evaluate their needs and priorities.
Often, participating in adolescent groups can have a positive effect on the therapeutic process, as the teenager will be able to share their difficulties with peers and feel that they belong to a group that understands what they’re going through. It can also be helpful for parents to seek support from a professional through counseling sessions, which can enable them to manage their parenting role more effectively and support the adolescent and their needs during this critical period of life.
By Maria Danae Gelleris, psychologist | 15/03/2020
