A diagnosis of a serious mental health disorder such as schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, or major depressive disorder is never an easy thing for a person to face. Just as difficult is the acceptance and management of the situation by their loved ones when they learn about the diagnosis. When someone lives with a serious mental illness, the whole family and their social circle may be affected, both psychologically and emotionally. Read more: The causes and forms of depression
Emotional turmoil
Serious mental disorders often have a biological basis. They are not necessarily the result of inadequate parenting, and they most likely could not have been prevented, even if family members had acted differently. Still, after a diagnosis, it is normal for a family to feel a range of negative and often uncomfortable emotions.
It is not unusual to feel embarrassed or awkward about a family member whose behaviors are hard to understand and manage. Many people also feel intense anger or rage about the situation, or even toward the person who is mentally ill. Parents, in particular, often feel some degree of responsibility, which can come with guilt and sadness about their child’s mental health condition.
Supporting a child with a serious mental health condition
If a child develops a serious mental illness, parents often need to reconsider their expectations and hopes. Along the way, they may also grieve the future they imagined for their child. These feelings, although painful, are completely expected.
Just as it is important to take care of your own health while caring for a loved one with mental illness, it is also important to keep communication and relationships open with other family members, including your spouse or partner. If you have a child with a serious mental illness, you may realize you are paying less attention to your other children. Healthy siblings may feel stress and frustration about the extra responsibilities they are expected to take on. Try to spend regular time with your other children too. Tell them how much you appreciate their help.
Clear and honest communication is vital for everyone in the family. Do not hesitate to ask both the family member who is struggling and the healthy family members how they are experiencing these changes at home. Keeping an open line of communication will help you manage the situation more smoothly, both in the first period after the diagnosis and in the future. Read more: Emotional problems and depression in teenagers Emotional problems & adolescent depression
If you are the partner of someone with a serious mental health disorder
As wonderful as relationships can be, they can also become just as complex and challenging when one partner has a serious mental illness. Often, the partner who is mentally healthy will take on more responsibilities, at least in the short term. For someone who is already worried about what is happening with their partner, spending more time on household tasks or childcare can become especially painful and exhausting.
It is important for the couple to remember that many people diagnosed with a serious mental illness improve over time, and that a partner’s attitude and behavior can contribute significantly to recovery. It helps to maintain an accepting stance, while also keeping realistic expectations for the partner who is ill. Participating in specialized family therapy or individual psychotherapy, combined with appropriate medication, can be very helpful.
Seeking support
As you work through your feelings and concerns about a loved one who is ill, it is important to have sources of support around you. Often, the best support comes from people who have been in your position. You can join a family support group to meet others who face similar challenges. At the same time, seek professional help and guidance from a mental health specialist who can help you understand the nature of the disorder and process your own difficult emotions.
When you learn that someone you love is ill, it is often hard to focus on anything else. Still, it is important to take care of your own needs too. Try to eat well, exercise regularly, sleep enough, and engage in enjoyable activities. By making time for self care, you will keep stress levels under control. You will be in a better position to support your loved one only if you take steps to maintain your own physical and mental health.
Serious mental illnesses often bring practical and emotional challenges. Your family member may not be able to work, at least temporarily. You may need to support your loved one financially, provide safe transportation to and from work, or remind them to take their medication. Ask your relatives’ doctors and mental health professionals if they know of social services available in your community that can help with these day to day tasks. If possible, reach out to friends and other family members for help. You may be surprised at how willing people are to support you, as long as you let them.
It is expected that family dynamics will change when a family member is diagnosed with a serious mental illness. It may take some time to accept these changes and create a new routine. It helps to remember that people with serious mental illness can live a normal life, as long as we are there for them.
Source: https://www.apa.org/helpcenter/serious-mental-illness.aspx
By Panagiotis Antonopoulos, psychologist | 21/09/2018
